I THINK I LIKE THE SECOND ONE BETTER!! VOTING ENABLED!!!
Wait a minute...
Obama/Biden,
Osama Bin Laden...
The only letters changed are S N L A and B...
If I enter these letters into our google database...
The Riddler's going to attack S & N Chemical Labs in Santa Ana! To the Batcave!!
Obama/Biden,
Osama Bin Laden...
The only letters changed are S N L A and B...
If I enter these letters into our google database...
The Riddler's going to attack S & N Chemical Labs in Santa Ana! To the Batcave!!
The time has come, my friends, for another football season; and with that, plenty of shitheads discussing their fantasy teams nobody cares about. You, too, can be one of those shitheads!
"But Dan!" you say, incredulous.
"Shut the fuck up!" I say, offering no explanation.
The time is now, robotskullers. Join your brethren, choose your army, and sit on your ass every Sunday afternoon. And evening. And Monday nights if you have cable or a decent bar. Four spots remain to compete with the likes of myself, thing, the_front, katie, and more! The draft is this Saturday at 7:30PM Eastern. If you cannot make it, you can set up your player list and it will autodraft your team. We are going head-to-head, so you really only need five minutes a week if time is your concern.
THE TIME IS NOW. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL. A MONDAY NIGHT PARTY. IT'S FRANK AND AL AND DAN. GONNA GET IT KICKSTARTED. Etc.
Join up: League ID: 515925 | Password: boner
INGREDIENTS
* 2 individual packages graham crackers
* 2 (3 ounce) packages instant vanilla pudding mix
* 3 cups milk
* 1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
* 1 (16 ounce) package prepared chocolate frosting
DIRECTIONS
1. Line the bottom of a 9x13-inch pan with graham crackers. In a large bowl, combine pudding mix and milk. Stir well. Stir in whipped topping to pudding mixture. Spread half of mixture over graham cracker layer. Top with another layer of graham crackers and the remaining pudding. Top all with a final layer of graham crackers and frost with chocolate frosting. Refrigerate until serving.
YO DUDES HEY
do you ever find yourself drinking WATER and being like, "SHIT I WOULD LOVE TO BE DRINKING STRAIGHT VODKA RIGHT NOW!"
Yeah, me too! but i decided to DO something about it and stop THE MAN from stopping me to get my party on like andrew wk (that duder knows how to party!)
FIRST: you need all of these accoutrements (college word!):
drill, SEALED water bottle, vodka, Loctite 3211 high-viscosity medical device grade UV-cured adhesive, Loctite 3211 high-viscosity medical device grade UV-cured adhesive plunger, Loctite 3211 high-viscosity medical device grade UV-cured adhesive syringe tips, Loctite 7700 rechargeable light pen
if u dont have all of the supplies, you can buy them, or STEAL THEM.
SECOND: drill the bottom of the bottle
drill a decent-sized hole in the bottom right where the plastic is thickest. this will let you remove the stupid water and put in the PARTY WATER (vodka!) while keeping the safety seal on the screwcap
THIRD: squirt the SOBER JUICE out
get that hydrating shit out of the bottle!
FORTH: get the party started
now pour in your ambrosia of choice while squeezing the bottle rhythmically to suck the vodka in through the hole. put a bowl or something underneath the plastic bottle to catch any of that booze; you want to be drunk, not the fishes to be drunk
FIFTH (of vodka lol): apply glue
squirt on some Loctite 3211 high-viscosity medical device grade UV-cured adhesive. b e c a r e f u l: if you use normal epoxy you will die when drinking your creation. you want to kill your liver on your own terms, dont let that bring you down.
SIXTH: ZAP THE GLUE WITH UV LIGHT
this is the EXTREME PART! zap the glue with the Loctite 7700 rechargeable light pen and cure that shit up! ZAPPPP BZZZZZZZZ!!! wear sunglasses to look cool while doing this, even though you are a manly dude and fuck UV light amirite!!! after about 45s of continuous light, it will cure and look like this:
SEVENTH: FREEZE IT
you dont want some nasty room-temperature swill; no, you are a person of taste and so freeze that bottle next to your bag of microwave meal and frozen chicken so your cheap vodka goes down a little better
EIGTHH: drink up preppy
PARTY TIME WOOW
NERD SPEAK: the shear force of the uv adhesive to the plastic bottle is stronger than the tensile strength of the plastic itself over a wide range of temperatures, so you can freeze it or squeeze the bottle as much as you would with any normal bottle
MAN TALK: THAT SHIT IS STRONG!
now you have a bottle that is sealed like a factory, but it doesnt have any stupid oxygen dihydride, it has ETHANOL for your BRAIN. now you can do kareoke like a dude with huge balls:
LIFEHACK!!¡1
do you ever find yourself drinking WATER and being like, "SHIT I WOULD LOVE TO BE DRINKING STRAIGHT VODKA RIGHT NOW!"
Yeah, me too! but i decided to DO something about it and stop THE MAN from stopping me to get my party on like andrew wk (that duder knows how to party!)
FIRST: you need all of these accoutrements (college word!):
drill, SEALED water bottle, vodka, Loctite 3211 high-viscosity medical device grade UV-cured adhesive, Loctite 3211 high-viscosity medical device grade UV-cured adhesive plunger, Loctite 3211 high-viscosity medical device grade UV-cured adhesive syringe tips, Loctite 7700 rechargeable light pen
if u dont have all of the supplies, you can buy them, or STEAL THEM.
SECOND: drill the bottom of the bottle
drill a decent-sized hole in the bottom right where the plastic is thickest. this will let you remove the stupid water and put in the PARTY WATER (vodka!) while keeping the safety seal on the screwcap
THIRD: squirt the SOBER JUICE out
get that hydrating shit out of the bottle!
FORTH: get the party started
now pour in your ambrosia of choice while squeezing the bottle rhythmically to suck the vodka in through the hole. put a bowl or something underneath the plastic bottle to catch any of that booze; you want to be drunk, not the fishes to be drunk
FIFTH (of vodka lol): apply glue
squirt on some Loctite 3211 high-viscosity medical device grade UV-cured adhesive. b e c a r e f u l: if you use normal epoxy you will die when drinking your creation. you want to kill your liver on your own terms, dont let that bring you down.
SIXTH: ZAP THE GLUE WITH UV LIGHT
this is the EXTREME PART! zap the glue with the Loctite 7700 rechargeable light pen and cure that shit up! ZAPPPP BZZZZZZZZ!!! wear sunglasses to look cool while doing this, even though you are a manly dude and fuck UV light amirite!!! after about 45s of continuous light, it will cure and look like this:
SEVENTH: FREEZE IT
you dont want some nasty room-temperature swill; no, you are a person of taste and so freeze that bottle next to your bag of microwave meal and frozen chicken so your cheap vodka goes down a little better
EIGTHH: drink up preppy
PARTY TIME WOOW
NERD SPEAK: the shear force of the uv adhesive to the plastic bottle is stronger than the tensile strength of the plastic itself over a wide range of temperatures, so you can freeze it or squeeze the bottle as much as you would with any normal bottle
MAN TALK: THAT SHIT IS STRONG!
now you have a bottle that is sealed like a factory, but it doesnt have any stupid oxygen dihydride, it has ETHANOL for your BRAIN. now you can do kareoke like a dude with huge balls:
LIFEHACK!!¡1
Oh. Hello there. Some of you might know that Thing setup a wiki. No don't worry, this wiki is different. Unlike wikipedia or wikianswers this wiki is meant entirely to offend and entertain. We won't judge you for writing an article about Ariel's Beginning unless you take it seriously.
Have at!
Have at!
me: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/barackobama/2590614/Barack-Obamas-lost-brother-found-in-Kenya.html
Stan: omg barack obama has a lost BLACK brother
me: Who is good with his fists
I SMELL A SPIN-OFF!!!
Stan: how funny that barack obama is the one that grows up in america
and GEORGE obama is the one that grows up in africa
me: Sanford Obama
Trying to think of more stereotypical American names
Frank Obama
Bob Obama would be funny, because without the space it is bobobama
Oh shit
Amab Obama
And he'd be the 44th president
A man, a plan, a canal: Amab
Stan: i don't think amab is a name.
me: You obviously have never met my friend Mr. Rm
Stan: omg barack obama has a lost BLACK brother
me: Who is good with his fists
I SMELL A SPIN-OFF!!!
Stan: how funny that barack obama is the one that grows up in america
and GEORGE obama is the one that grows up in africa
me: Sanford Obama
Trying to think of more stereotypical American names
Frank Obama
Bob Obama would be funny, because without the space it is bobobama
Oh shit
Amab Obama
And he'd be the 44th president
A man, a plan, a canal: Amab
Stan: i don't think amab is a name.
me: You obviously have never met my friend Mr. Rm
I was in the middle of a serious WiiFit session when the door bell rang. I picked Molly the Corgi up because she is crazy and I walked over to the foyer. We don’t have windows or a peephole so I couldn’t see who it was before I opened the door.
Standing there was a man in a suit and a woman in a dress. They had literature. As we are coming up on a national election, I figured they were either Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Republicans, or Democrats. Or possibly Obamacans. They were too old to vote for Ron Paul.
“Oh, you have your little puppy there,” the man said, obviously offput by the fact that I was holding a dog. It may also have been my appearance. I hadn’t showered yet and was in my workout clothes, and if you’ve ever seen what my hair does when I sleep, you would know that if not for the fact that I answered the door from inside what is ostensibly my home, I appeared to be homeless.
“We just have some information for you,” said the woman. They were both kindly enough up until this point, but the woman thrust the pamphlet into my hands and said, too loudly, “Who really rules the world?!” Those words were printed on the pamphlet, but her verve told me they were also in her heart and mind.
“Okay,” I mumbled, looking at the pamphlet and seeing Jesus throwing up the dis to a pair of obviously malevolent, disembodied hands trying to fork over the National Mall.
“Just an interesting question for you to ponder,” said the man. “Could Satan have offered Jesus all the world’s governments if they didn’t belong to him?”
“Belong to Satan?” I asked.
“Yesssssss,” intoned the woman. “The world’s governments are in Satan’s hands!”
Maybe they are voting for Ron Paul, I thought, and smiled a little.
“Does what we say ring true?” the man said, encouraged by my facial expression. He took a step forward, making his best Barry Sanders break for daylight.
I said, “Let me leave you with this, wanderers. I’d like to give your church $30,000.”
The woman gasped. “How wonderful!” exclaimed the man.
“I also have bad news for you. I just offered you something that I don’t have, and can’t actually give you.”
The silence was stony, and I sensed any shot I had at a free copy of The Watchtower slipping away.
“We’ll just leave that with you then,” said the man. I closed the door.
Music by the_front w/vocals by skeelo.
Video by skeelo.
"I opened that nude guitar hero picture in Photoshop and tried to get a reflection from the tvscreen to show up... It did not work!"
(05:05:15 PM) Kelly: !!!
(05:05:36 PM) Kelly: thats awful
(05:05:38 PM) Samn: Welcome to the internet
PS Buttons you are honor system banned. Do not log in again or you will be in violation of your ban.